Natsu Dragneel, spirit mage, scary thought
by Chooch77
Summary: Happy asks for Lucy's spirit key at the beginning of the manga, and, in a fit of anger, Lucy gives it to him. Now, two destructive people are put together like that. The world is F###ed. Harem comedy fic. More than just one chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yo! This is my attempt to do a light hearted and humorous tale of Fairy Tail. I hope that you all enjoy.**

**Summary: What if Happy asked for Aquarius' key, and, what if, in a moment of anger, Lucy gives it to him? What will happen with Natsu being the key bearer of Aquarius?**

**Pairings: Natsu/aquarius/more**

**Disclaimer:...**

**Chapter one: The new key bearer**

Aquarius looked over at Lucy and reiterated.

"Don't call me, I'm with my boyfriend. My BOYfriend." Aquarius said twice and carefully ennunciated the second word.

She then disappeared in a swirl of water as was her specialty.

"Arg, you didn't have to repeat it, and what was with the enunciation!" Lucy shouted out in anger after her.

"Harsh relationship. Can we have that key?" Happy the flying talking cat that apparently is normal for the world asked.

"Fine, you want the key so bad, you can have it, all she ever does is give me grief." Lucy said in anger as she tossed the key at Happy.

Happy caught the key with an 'oof' after how hard it was thrown at him.

"Wait, what did I just do?" Lucy asked herself in shock after she got over her anger and realized that she had just given away her most powerful spirit in a moment of anger.

She then groaned in depression as she realized that she couldn't take it back due to the facts that 1, Aquarius would be pissed at her, and, 2 she was a celestial spirit mage and always held her promises.

"Damnit, they always said that I would let my emotions get the better of me and make a huge mistake one day." Lucy said with a sigh.

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It was three days later and after the Duke Everlue mission that the Natsu and Lucy were back at the guild.

"How do I summon a celestial spirit?" Natsu asked her suddenly.

"Oh, yeah, that's right, I gave you Aquarius, I can't believe I forgot about that!" Lucy pounded her fist. Her facial expression showed her true feelings as she was crying a river of tears. Happy was using the tears to fill up his waterbottle.

"Yeah, I know that I have to make a contract, but how do I summon her?" Natsu asked.

"Just repeat after me and pull it down in a slicing motion and then push the key forward and twist." Lucy said.

She then demonstrated the motion of it.

"Now, say these words." Lucy commanded, "Gate of the water bearer, I open thee. Aquarius."

Natsu repeated the words and went through the motion exactly as she said to and watched as Aquarius appeared in a swirling whirlpool.

"Oh, it's you two, come to give me back to Lucy?" Aquarius sneered while spitting the word Lucy out.

"Nope, I'm here to make a contract with you." Natsu said cheerfully.

"A contract? Why would I want to make a contract?" Aquarius said incredulously.

"So you have some say when I summon you." Natsu replied, "after all, if we don't have a contract, then I can't breach it and you can't get free from me."

Aquarius looked at him, amazed, that was one loophole very few mages actually ever figured out, and she had to say that she was very impressed.

"How did you find out?" Aquarius muttered as one of the major secrets of the spirit world was blurted out.

"I didn't, I just guessed. I know that you can summon celestial spirits without a contract when you're in danger and guessed from there." Natsu said with an evil look as he said, "and you're the one who confirmed it.

Lucy looked on in shock as he said, "Natsu's a lot smarter than he lets on, isn't he?"

"Aye!" Happy replied cheerfully.

Back to the two mismatched-never-should-have-got-together-for-if-t hey-do-entire-towns-are-destroyed people, they were arguing the major terms of the contract.

"And I say I should be able to get fish every time that I'm summoned!" Aquarius shouted.

"Like hell you will, that's my fish and it'll stay that way!" Natsu shouted.

Aquarius readied her jar of water and pointed it at Natsu.

"Do you think that you can negotiate with the greatest water spirit to ever walk the Earthland?" Aquarius asked.

"Do you think that you can negotiate with the greatest fire user to ever walk the Earthland?" Natsu retorted.

Aquarius and Natsu stared at each other before Aquarius attacked Natsu with 1000 gallons of water.

Natsu just powered up his fire and watched as the water dissipated into steam before it could reach him.

A few minutes later and Aquarius closed the lid.

Wearily, they watched the fog roll away and saw that Natsu was still standing.

"Hah! You can't win against me!" Natsu said with his fist in the air.

"Fine, that would just be a battle of attrition anyways, and those are always annoying." Aquarius tched.

"So, these are the terms that I am making that are nonnegotiable. If you don't want to be summoned that day, appear that morning and tell me you don't, cause otherwise I will. You will get Sundays and late nights off, so plan your dates around those times, because I won't accept a date as an excuse to be absent. You may only take four days off every month. And, when I summon you, you don't have to obey, but you cannot attack me or my allies." Natsu said with a grin, knowing that he had covered all the bases.

Aquarius grimanced as she thought about how strict the terms were and finally folded in.

"Fine, but only if you get strong enough to beat up anyone that you encounter." Aquarius said with a smirk.

"Of course I will, who do you take me for?" Natsu asked with a matching smirk.

"Say, I have a question." Natsu said after a minute of smirking.

"What is it?" Aquarius asked.

"I'm new at this, and I've got two keys, is it possible to have two contracts?" Natsu asked.

"Yes, and you can even summon two spirits at a time." Aquarius said. "That is, if you have the magic power for it, little boy."

Natsu was quick to anger and quickly called to Lucy. "Hey, Lucy, how do I summon Virgo?"

Lucy blinked and shouted "Just chant 'O spirit, answer my call and pass through the gate, Gate of the maiden, I open thee, Virgo'."

Natsu did as she said and watched as Virgo was summoned.

A short haired silver haired girl appeared and Natsu smiled solemnly at the image.

"You are my new master?" Virgo asked emotionlessly.

"Yeah, I am, but why take that form?" Natsu asked.

"Because it is the one that most shows the pure heart in your mind. If it was her mind, she would have had a short pink haired girl." Virgo replied.

"I think I get it." Natsu said.

"If this form is too personal, then I understand, I have had plenty of users that have had problems with it before." Virgo said.

"No! It's fine, just don't show up like that around Mirajine or Elfman." Natsu said.

"Very well then." Virgo said.

"My terms are quite simple, you can summon me at any time." Virgo said.

Natsu nodded about that.

"That's it? You don't want anything in return. I was told by my father that the reasons that Celestial spirits bonded with humans was so that they would be able to get something from this world in return for their services in the first war." Natsu said.

"You...are remarkably well informed. As long as you punish me when I do something wrong, that is my term." Virgo said.

Natsu just nodded.

**Done! I know it kind of took a turn downhill at the end, but I think that it was a good move to get Virgo into the game.**


	2. the human water rocket

**A/N: Yo! Here is the next chapter of my Natsu Dragneel, spirit mage, scary thought. This chapter is going to have the Lullaby arc and Natsu fighting with the spirits. There will be lots of angry people, wet people, burnt people, humiliated people, homeless people, and Erza!**

**Disclaimer: you don't even deserve the three periods anymore, so from now on, I am downgrading you to commas,,,**

**Chapter 2: Erza, Lullaby**

"She's coming!" Natsu heard from one of the members of the guild, and automatically cringed in fear at the thought of her. She scared him.

**She **could switch moods in an instant, from happy to depressed. You do any small thing wrong and **she **will be breathing down on you, talking down to you, and beating you up.

"Who's coming?" Lucy asked.

One of the guild members was coming up about to tell her when Natsu immediately clamped his hand over his mouth and said, "**She **will just get here faster if you say her name."

That was when Natsu was smashed with a giant horn.

"I'm okay," Natsu groaned out.

When no one said anything and Gray laughed, Natsu got a tick mark and said, "Bastards, all of you." before he fell back down unconscious.

Mirajine immediately piped up and said, "Umm, Erza, I think Natsu's air supply is cut off."

The horn was lifted up and Natsu gave a thumbs up to Mirajine.

"Air, oh sweet, sweet air, what more do I need from you? You save my life, you help me breath, and you help me start the flames that I use to destroy towns!" Natsu laughed.

"Don't you mean enemies?" A random guild member said.

Natsu glanced blankly at the guiild member and then at the fist he had made and in another second, the guild member was sent flying out the roof.

"I meant what I said, moron." Natsu said.

Lucy immediately freaked out and thought, 'you mean all of that destruction was on purpose?'

"Natsu," a sickeningly sweet voice said as the legendary Titania came out from behind, "Did you destroy another town while I was gone."

"Nope," Natsu said proudly.

Erza just raised her eyebrow and tapped her foot, knowing there was more.

"I destroyed a port. That's not on the list of things that you can punish me for destroying!" Natsu shouted.

Erza immediately requiped a list and some glasses before looking at the list.

"Natsu cannot destroy/disrupt Andy's, Bears, Benches, Beards, Blouses, clowns, Cotton fields, creamation ceremonies, Denny's, district HQ, English places, Green fields, Hearing, jokesters, killers, krispy Cremes, laki's creations, Magnolia, Newport..." The list went on for several hours, listing small things such as birds, large things like trains, and weird things like Makarov's port stache.

Lucy was told not to ask about that last one and it was better if she didn't know.

"How did I miss ports?" Erza asked.

"Ha! I actually didn't break any rules this time, see?" Natsu said.

Erza punched him and said, "You interupted my thoughts."

Natsu just groaned from his place in the wall.

"Anyway, I am dissappointed in all of you, to think of the illegalities, did Master even give you the list of grievances the council told him to give you?" Erza exclaimed.

"Didn't you know that he feeds them to Natsu?" One of the guild members called out.

"Oh? I'll have to have a talk with him?" Erza said with her fists cracking against her palm.

"I'll just get the list while we're in the town, I have to head there anyway." Erza said with a shrug.

"C'mon, Natsu," Erza said before dragging the body and dragging it on the ground.

"Hey! Why does Natsu get to go? What's so special about him?" Gray demanded.

Now, Erza was dragging both of them along by a foot.

"Why?" Both of them cried out with tears in their eyes while clawing at the ground.

Lucy just sweatdropped as she watched the sight.

"Oh, dear! I think Fairy Tail's most powerful and destructive team was just created." Mirajine said with a hand covering her mouth.

"Lucy, could you do me a favor?" Mirajine asked, and, seeing Lucy's hesitant nod, she continued.

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"Hey, Erza, where's Natsu?" Lucy asked.

"He escaped from me. All I saw was a flash of light and then a hole in the ground." Erza pouted, sounding disappointed in the fact.

"Whatever, the train's almost leaving." Gray shrugged before getting on.

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"Ready," Natsu shouted behind him.

You see, after he escaped, Natsu had an idea. He had a celestial spirit that could shoot water, so, he just calculated the trajectory of the town, and then had Aquarius aim where he told her to.

"FIRE!" Both Natsu and Aquarius shouted at the same time.

"Screw you transportation! There is no need for you anymore!" Natsu laughed maniacally as he was going up in the air.

That was when he realized three large problems, 1, he couldn't calculate trajectory, 2, he had no way to land, and, 3, he had no idea where the town was.

"NOOOOOOO!" Natsu shouted as he barreled through the air.

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The train had finally stopped at the station after about a day of travel.

That was when the group of Fairy Tail mages heard a strange sound, it almost sounded like screaming, and it was getting louder, plus it was coming from above them.

The group looked up and Gray squinted, trying to make out what it was up there.

Too bad he was in the direct range of fire.

"Oh, sh-" That was all he got off before the object crashed into him.

When the smoke cleared, all the group saw was Natsu on top of Gray.

Natsu then brushed himself off and looked around before saying, "Yes! I finally got it right!"

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People across Fiore would swear that a new superweapon was developed that used people as ammo that day.

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"Did I really just see that?" Jellal asked himself as he tried to get the image of a pink haired moron crashing through the tower and then summoning a spirit to send him back out.

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"Cheer for the flaming pink one! For he has finally put a hole in our enemy, the moon!" The people of the island said.

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"I swear, I never had this intended whenever I created the guild, I need to complain to Makarov about his running the guild." Mavis muttered angrily as she stomped off the island.

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Brain looked down at all of his calculations.

"That rocket was definitely not in any of my calculations," Brain said.

He was now sitting in a room with no roof.

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Gildarts lost control of his magic when Natsu landed in front of him, causing him to destroy a town.

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The last place he had been before he came to the guild was on Laxus, where he destroyed his headphones before blasting off.

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"You don't want to know how many times I tried that." Natsu muttered as he brushed himself off and stepped off of Gray, being extremely careful to step on his spine and neck.

"How did you get here?" Lucy asked, feeling like this was going to be a headache.

"You don't want to know." Natsu said.

Funny feeling was, Lucy was entirely too sure that Natsu was right about that.

**Done! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please R&R!**


End file.
